Relationships: Compatibility and Common Sense (continued)
"Hadas, I understand," said Noam. Now, do you remember a booklet I gave you called The Way to Happiness?" She said she did, but she hadn't opened it, so he had her read the chapter called "Try to Treat Others as You Would Want Them to Treat You" and she got to one section and was shocked when she read this part:
"Now there is an interesting phenomenon at work in human relations. When one person yells at another, the other has an impulse to yell back. One is treated pretty much the way he treats others: one actually sets an example of how he should be treated".
She suddenly realized that she is not as patient with Yaniv as she should be. She is critical about his "crazy" friends, she disparages his music and makes non-stop remarks about the way he dresses.
Hadas decided to treat Yaniv as she wants him to treat her. She looked back over the chapter, and read:
"Now what do you suppose would happen if one were to try to treat those around him with justness, loyalty, good sportsmanship, fairness, honesty, kindness, consideration, compassion, self-control, tolerance, forgiveness, benevolence, belief, respect, politeness, dignity, admiration, friendliness, love, and did it with integrity?
"It might take a while but don't you suppose that many others would then begin to try to treat one the same way?"
Hadas told Noam she now understood what she needs to do to save her relationship.
Three months later Hadas sent Noam this message: "You are a genius!!! Yesterday Yaniv asked me to marry him. I am so excited!"
Noam called Hadas to find out what happened.
"After our conversation I realized what I was doing wrong," said Hadas, "and I used the book to change it. I applied the suggestion at the end of that chapter and specialized in practicing the virtues it lists -- a new one every day. And by my changing the way I was acting suddenly Yaniv once again became the charming man I fell in love with. You wouldn't believe it --he even bought expensive tickets for me to take my mother to a concert!"
"I was surprised until I realized what happened. It wasn't a coincidence that he bought me these concert tickets two days after I held a big dinner for his 'disturbed' friends-- the ones I hated him to spend time with before."
The booklet worked! The way Hadas treated Yaniv changed the way he treated her and resulted in her having the consideration and respect she needed.
She told Noam that she just began using The Way to Happiness—practicing tolerance instead of criticism, acceptance instead of scorn. Yaniv wanted to know what changed and she shared the booklet with him too. They now have a relationship of mutual consideration and respect. And a wedding on the horizon.
The Way to Happiness is a wholly secular and non-religious, common-sense moral code, written by L. Ron Hubbard. With its 21 fundamental precepts the booklet helps people develop moral standards based on their own reasoning and understanding of why and how those standards promote a happier life.